Jessie Selina Imperiale I will miss you

I wanna say something important, but I really am at a lost again.  I've never felt like this before.  The closest I can akin this to is when my grandfather died.  I was so young then, but even now 20+ years later I can remember it clearly.  At least as clearly as my mind allows.  I am trying to understand my feelings of Jessie's passing and put things in perspective in my mind.  All I can think about are the things she would say.  Aunt Julia said it right when she was speaking on Grandma's behalf.  "Wheres my martini, the food doesn't taste right with out my martini"  I think now that she's gone it'd be more along the lines of "Wheres my martini, this dirt doesn't taste right without my martini, Julia get me my martini."  When I thought of that I laughed and began to cry, as I am now.  I didn't cry at the funeral and I think that had to do with my own obligations to my family.  Some one had to be strong for them in their time of need.  Now my grief is shared with my wife and kids.  My only regret is not introducing my kids to her before her passing.  I know she would have loved them greatly.  At least now she can watch them grow into men.  God bless you grandma.